So April is autism awareness month so it seems only appropriate that I talk about Kevin: his strengths and challenges.
Kevin is my oldest and I didn't really know any different. I thought his sense of loud noises was strange... He hated fireworks, he hated when we saw Thomas the Train in Tavares and he'd blow his whistle, and hated when I'd argue with his dad. He hated these things so much he'd cry until he was removed from these situations. I thought maybe he had a ringing in his ears much like his grandfather does when noises are too loud. However, the pediatrician said it was unlikely.
The next thing I found odd was that Kevin had extreme anxiety. Often it was due to his father. So I thought it was because of the divorce. Kevin didn't want his father to touch him, help him into the car, and sometimes would hide from his dad. A number of times we would put him into counseling to help but Kevin would always have a relapse that would require more counseling.
Things that set off his anxiety: changes to his routine, having to take pills, being in the dark, being away from home, being away from me, and going to school. He wants to be homeschooled but I believe being around other kids is very beneficial to him. Last year he went to North Carolina with my parents and he cried and wanted to come home because I was not there. We bought mouthwash for him to use at night and he cried because it was not in his routine. It was new. It was something he would have to try and it made him uncomfortable.
Kevin also gets uncomfortable in large crowds. He has meltdowns at Disney because it's a lot to take in, he has meltdowns at family get togethers, and any other place where there are a lot of people he doesn't know. His meltdowns from this range from crying and refusing to talk or he hides in confined places such as tight corners. Other times he will hide in a private place and refuse to talk to anyone.
Kevin is also very sensitive. He doesn't do well with criticism. If he gets criticized by other students he will cry and refuse to talk to anyone for an extended amount of time. However, he is also intuitive and picks up on another's emotion very easily. He is also very touchy feely with me but standoffish to a great number of people. Another thing I have noticed about Kevin is that he either likes you or hates you. There is no in between.
Kevin flaps his hands when he's excited or anxious. He walks on his tip toes. He stands with his feet together, instead of having them hip width apart, making him clumsier than other kids. He also writes from the bottom up, instead of from the top down.
When Kevin was diagnosed with Aspergers last June I felt like it was my fault. I should have known that something was wrong because I'm his mother. However, I read that children with high functioning autism often it is overlooked because it's so mild that only a professional would notice it... And that's what happened.
The diagnosis was a lot to take in at first but I quickly realized that Kevin being autistic doesn't take away anything from him. He is still my son, my Kevinator, and I love him just as much as I did before the diagnosis. We of course, have our bad days but what parent doesn't? What child doesn't have challenges? Kevin excels in school, has a great memory, but cries when his routine is changed. I've learned that with his meltdowns you just have to give Kevin his space. You have to wait for him to talk to you. If you try to force it out of him it just makes matters worse.
Kevin knows there's something that makes him different than all the other kids. But he sees it as "why do I have more bad days than other kids?". He also gets frustrated at himself when he knows what he wants to say but doesn't know how to communicate his thought process. He is like any other child though; he just wants to be loved and accepted.
Being in Kevin's life means patience, unconditional love, understanding, and never assuming. When Kevin withdraws himself into his shell I try to use humor as a icebreaker. Once you get him to laugh it's easier to get him to open up.
I know there's parents out there whose child's autism is much greater than Kevin's so I try to remind myself of this when Kevin's meltdowns last over 30 minutes and I can't get him to talk to, let alone look at me. However, I am grateful for Kevin. He has taught me a lot about patience, understanding, and looking at the world through his eyes.
I couldn't imagine my life without him and wouldn't want him to behave differently. He makes my life whole. He is a wonderful blessing. I'm so grateful that he has been entrusted to me to love, to guide, to teach. In return I know that kevin is also guiding and teaching me.
Kevin has always loved his step-dad
Kevin loves animals
He was the only kid not afraid to jump in the water
He has a goofy sense of humor
He loves his family & Disney World
He looks out for his little brother and loves playing with him <3
