Sunday, March 25, 2012


This past week was someone's birthday who means a lot to me.  We may not be the best of friends or even talk on a regular basis but she is someone who I admire.  When I think of this person I think of her beautiful smile, her beautiful children, the many times she has made me laugh (and her kids too).  She is a very talented individual!  She can play the piano, was learning the organ, can play the flute, and the clarinet.  Not to mention she dances (tap, jazz, ballet, hip-hop)!  When she was a teenager she was the cheerleader captain for the high school!  Not only these things but she was a straight A student; she has a buisness degree and recently graduated with a teaching certificate.  She is now a teacher for an elementary school.

I am, of course, talking about my favorite sister; my only sister.  She is amazing at everything she sets her mind to!  She's also a good friend, sister, mother, teacher, daughter... and the list just goes on and on.  She has always been there for me and everyone/anyone who needed her;  Who wanted her shoulder to cry on or advice to get through a trial.  She also faces her trials head on and scares away her troubles with faith and laughter.  I have no doubt that when it gets too much she turns to her friends for comfort but for the most part she wears a brave face and a smile to fool those that don't know her better.

My sister is a single mother of two.  I can't imagine how stressful and chaotic that could be!  Just that alone!  But my sister works as a teacher and that in itself is another hard trial to tackle! She takes her children to dance, gymnastics, soccer, recitals, practices...  She is selfless to a fault!

If ever a woman deserved praise and to be admired, it's my sister.  She is head-strong and doesn't get depressed easily.  She doesn't let others abuse and use her either.  She knows who she is and never doubts her faith or her beliefs!  If you say something to upset her she tells you then and there to your face!  (A trait not many possess these days.)

She believes in God, she goes to church, she dresses modestly and has her children do the same.  She has morals and standards.  How blessed I am to know her and have her as my sister!  I only hope that I too can be like her as I know her daughter will be and in a way already is.

So to my sister, Angela, I love you!  I hope you know this above all else!  I know we don't always communicate well or get along but I have nothing but the utmost respect for you and I love you very much!  You are without a doubt my favorite sister!

I Love My Family

I love my mommy she is sweet and kind. I love my famly so much with joy. I like spending time with my mom and dad. We planted flowers yesterday. We have so much fun together.

~by: Kevin            

New Job and My Miracle

I've been meaning to write but have been insanely busy.  I started a new job and I LOVE it!  I feel this might be an answer to my prayers=)  I gave a two week notice to my other job and so my last day is this Friday.  I can't express how grateful and how much at peace I am with this decision!  This new job is closer to our house and is everything that I have been searching for!

Also, Spring Break was this week and we had such fun!  Kevin got to go to the zoo, the beach, and on Friday we went to Disney for the whole day!  I love these times when we get to spend time together as a family and start making memories with our children.

Kevin got to ride Rockin' Roller and Splash Mountain for the first time!  He was so excited and anxious at first but once he got on the ride he couldn't keep from laughing and as we were walking away he said, "Again, again, again, again!"

I can't believe how fast time flies!  I remember when he was around 3 and even 5 he did not enjoy riding new rides and would cry throughout the line.  However, he still is not fond of The Haunted Mansion.  I told him to rest his head on my lap.  I told him there's nothing to be afraid of because it's not real, but it's also okay to be afraid.  I told him when I was a kid I didn't like The Haunted Mansion either.  I used to ride it with my parents and would hide my face on my dad's lap.

I'm so thankful for my son.  I'm so thankful that God granted me with this miracle.  He is absolutely beautiful, handsome, smart, kind, thoughtful, and funny.  Everything that any other mother would envy and want in a son.  I truly believe that he was sent to save me.  Before him I was a very negative person.  Now Kevin is my heart and he is what motivates me to be a better/stronger person.

Hard to believe he's going to be seven in  a few weeks!  How fast time flies!  Once he was my little baby who I would sing and rock to sleep.  Now he's my little dude that I read to and every once in a while sing to to see him smile.  He has an amazing imagination just like his mommy :)

Kevin, I love you each and every day!  From the time I found out I was pregnant with you!  I knew I wanted you forever and was so anxious to meet you!  As I am epileptic, however, I was so worried about you and because of a mini-seizure I was induced.  Ten hours later I got to hold, hug, kiss, and see you for the first time.

There are no words to describe how much I love you and how much I appreciate you.  You are the driving force behind your mommy that keeps her going!  Your smile and kind words brighten up all my dark days.  Kevin, your mommy loves you for now and for always! 

I hope I get to witness your growth as you become a young adult and into a man.  I hope I also get to see you marry a sweet girl who treats you with respect and love.  I hope she encourages you to become a better man for she sees your potential.  I hope she treats you with love and respect as she sees how blessed she is to have you as a husband.  I hope you both have children and that you might raise them to know God and His plans for us while we're here on Earth.

Kevin, I hope you know how much your mommy loves you!  For you are her miracle!  I love you with every fiber of my being!  Seeing and witnessing you grow is an amazing experience!  I wouldn't change it for the world! And I wouldn't change anything about you!  You are perfect just the way you are!  I love you, Kevinator!  May we have many more memories together and more holidays to share!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Lotus flowers

So I got a new tattoo.  I didn't do the sankofa like I originally thought about.  Instead I got lotus flowers on my forearm.  At first I wasn't sure where I was going to put it but then I thought about it...

I have ugly scars on my forearm from when I was a teenager.  I was a self-mutilator, a cutter.  At first it didn't bother me.  They had become a part of me and those hard knocks helped shape me into the individual that I am today.

Recently I've been looking at them with regret and I pity the girl that I used to be.  For she felt alone and like no one understood her.  There were many days that she would come home from high school, turn on the radio, and cry.  Wishing to be anywhere and anyone else.  She was always seeking change.  Always praying for a miracle.

Then she grew up and saw the potential she had to create a positive change for herself.  However, others would always try and stomp this optimistic/naive girl down.  When push comes to shove though she always stood her ground.

So I decided I needed to show this to the world.  I'm no longer a scared little girl but a confident woman.  The lotus flower grows in the mud, in darkness, and blooms to beautiful flowers above the water's surface;  and that symbolizes me as well.  For I have come from a dark past but now I have something beautiful to show.  I have a red lotus symbolizing an open heart; and a blue lotus symbolizing wisdom.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see and grow from my mistakes.  Thank you for those trials that made me the tough, confident woman I am today :)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The end of a rough week

This week started off rough... Won't lie.  My hubby and I went to a friend's house for a baby shower.  Everything seemed like a normal day.  When we got home I found our family cat of 2 1/2 years dead in our driveway.  Needless to say I was upset.  I yelled her name and ran inside.  I told my hubby who inspected her then came back to calm his wife.  He suspects that a snake got her... or maybe she was playing with a poisonous snake...  Whatever the reason I still miss her.  I haven't cried over a pet like that since I was 10 and our family dog got hit by a car...  She will be missed.

My cousin and husband talked me into looking for another cat.  Kevin was really upset when his betta fish died so we decided that a new cat might help soften the blow.  I looked on craigslist and sure enough I found a cat that a lady wanted to get rid of.  She had the cat for a while but she was allergic to him.  His shots are up to date and he is already neutered.  We met with the lady the next day and took him home.  He is an amazing cat with a wonderful loving personality.  Just what this family needed.

We are having our share of trials but my hubby still remains grounded.  He holds me close and whispers "We're going to get through it.  As a family we will get through it."  He truly is amazing.

Kevin remains level headed as well.  He misses our old cat.  He asked to see where she was buried and asked if I took pictures...  Of course, I did not.  I showed him where she was buried and we try to make it a point to go out there once a day.  We include her in our prayers as well.

As always tomorrow holds promise for better days.  Hopefully soon we'll hear good news.  God knows we need it.  As Jim says though "Together we will get through it.  Hell or high water.  We'll get through it."