Anxiously Awaiting Baby James' Debut

Yesterday Jim, Kevin, and I got our portraits done as a family.  It's something that I've always wanted us to do and since we had a coupon and baby James on the way we thought we'd take a before baby picture and then we'll add him to our next one.  With every passing day we grow more anxious to see, hold, kiss, and cuddle our little baby:)  It's a lot to take in sometimes.  Jim was my best friend in high school and now we're married and in a few more months we'll have our own baby Panko.  I couldn't ask for two better guys :)  Jim is always there for me.  Whether I'm emotional, having a craving, or in pain (growing pains and/or aches).  He's been wonderful through it all!  He's so patient and understanding, I feel so incredibly blessed!  Kevin is patient and understanding as well.  He helps out when and where he can.  He likes to read to his baby brother and pick out gifts for him as well.  Of course, they all have duckies or penguins on them as these are Kevin's favorite animals.  I just pray that baby James will be patient, kind, and smart like his older brother and his daddy:)

We are anxiously awaiting your arrival, baby James.  Although you are not born yet we all love you immensely!  We can't wait to hold you in our arms, can't wait to have long nights, and short days with you <3  We love you!  Mommy, Daddy, and your older brother, Kevin.

My 7 year old miracle

Mommy and sons

I love these boys and this pic! It's like it's from a magazine!

 

Both of my handsome guys looking at the camera

 

A great song, great musician, and a great reminder

"Better Than I Used to Be"

by: Tim McGraw

I know how to hold a grudge
I can send a bridge up in smoke
And I can't count the people I've let down, the hearts I've broke
You ain't gotta dig too deep
If you wanna find some dirt on me
I'm learning who you've been
Ain't who you've got to be
It's gonna be an uphill climb
Aww honey I won't lie

I ain't no angel
I still got a few more dances with the devil
I’m cleaning up my act little by little
I’m getting there
I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see
I ain’t as good as I’m gonna get
But I’m better than I used to be

I’ve pinned a lot of demons to the ground
I’ve got a few old habits left
But there’s still one or two I might need you to help me get

Standing in the rain so long has left me with a little rust

But put some faith in me

And someday you'll see

There's a diamond under all this rust

I ain't no angel
I still got a few more dances with the devil
I’m cleaning up my act little by little
I’m getting there
I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see
I ain’t as good as I’m gonna get
But I’m better than I used to be

     I love this song because I feel that it describes me perfectly!  I am not perfect.  I have made a lot of mistakes but I feel that I am still humble and a good person.  I am trying to correct my mistakes and keep moving forward.  It's not easy but it's necessary for me to do this in order to feel whole and/or healed.  I love my boys and my family for making me want to be a better person than who I was yesterday and little by little I'm getting there.  

Dreams Come True!

So in my last blog I mentioned some of the happenings in December of 2012...  I failed to mention a certain young lady who means a lot to me and who I am extremely proud of!

I have a picture of this girl whose dream was to be Clara in The Nutcracker.  She was 6 years old at the time.  I was babysitting her and her little brother one night and all this girl could talk about was being Clara.  She even had a nutcracker that her mom had given her and she picked it up and began to dance with it.  She began asking me if I would take her picture with her nutcracker doll and, of course, I happily obliged.

Of course, I am talking about my favorite blond haired, green eyed niece, Kennedy.  She has grown so much in the past 5 years!  She is even more beautiful and even more talented than she was when she was 6!  Who would've thought that was possible? :p  I love this girl with all my heart and I am so proud of the young woman that she is becoming!  She is responsible, dresses modestly, speaks kindly to others, is creative, does well in school, and is a wonderful friend, niece, cousin, daughter, granddaughter, and a loving sister to her younger brother, Oliver!  She is loved by all those who know her!  I just wanted to take a moment and congratulate her on her dream coming true!  For last year she got to play Clara in The Nutcracker (and on pointe)!  She did an amazing job and danced beautifully!  As I said before as each day that passes she continues to grow more beautiful and even more talented!  Congratulations, Kennedy!  I love you!  I pray that all of your dreams may continue coming true in 2013 and in the many years ahead of you!  Congrats again!

Kennedy and Angela as Clara and Mrs. Silberhaus

And a pic from the program

Looking to the Future and a Glance of 2012

"With a future so bright I have to wear shades!"  It hasn't been an easy journey that's for sure, but a journey well worth the travel!  2012 was fun but I am looking to 2013 with much anticipation!  I will get my AA degree this year, I shall meet our newest addition, and hopefully start working toward my Bachelor's degree.  What an exciting year indeed!

However, 2012 also brought heartache...  Especially the month of December...  With the shooting at Sandy Hook and the death of a great man.  So when the shootings took place I was at home with my husband.  We were cleaning up the house and repainting rooms when we heard the news.  As a mother of an elementary student I burst into tears.  I can only imagine the heartache and the turmoil that the parents and families must have felt!  How truly horrific!  I know at least 8 elementary students off hand, which most are family and friends...  When you drop your child off at school you don't think about someone showing up to shoot innocent children...  So horrific...  There are no words to describe...  My heart, my prayers go out to those affected by this tragedy.

Among the deaths in 2012 a great man died of cancer.  He was the first person to teach me CPR and first aid, he drove the youth to their activities, and he also took us on our hikes for young women and young men.  He was a patient man who never passed up the opportunity to bear his testimony, to let his family know how much he loved them, and he was selfless!  When my son overdosed on medicine I was such a wreck and so we called the ward and they got a hold of Brother Kumbera.  He was in the middle of dinner and enjoying time with family and friends when he got the call.  Without hesitation he showed up at the hospital and gave Kevin a blessing.  I was/am beyond thankful for that!  He always talked to the youth and had a great sense of humor.  He also spoke at Brian's Eagle Scout Badge Court of Honor.  I hope he knows that I am just one of the many people whose lives were touched by his existence!  He was/is a great man!  He shall be missed by all who knew him.  Thank you, Brother Kumbera for being you!  May you rest in peace until we meet again!

So what shall my goals be for 2013?  I know at the top is to eat healthy for two, to pass my classes, and to see what I have to do to get into Stetson University.  I know it's an uphill struggle but I remain positive at my choice to major in Psychology.  I have always been interested in why people turn out the way they do, why they make certain decisions, and as I have come from a dark past I only want to help those who are struggling.  So I will meet my challenges, my fears head on and I will be stronger and a better person for that.    So again I say "with a future so bright I have to wear shades!"

Looking back: The three of us at Disney Quest in January 2012