Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Lotus flowers

So I got a new tattoo.  I didn't do the sankofa like I originally thought about.  Instead I got lotus flowers on my forearm.  At first I wasn't sure where I was going to put it but then I thought about it...

I have ugly scars on my forearm from when I was a teenager.  I was a self-mutilator, a cutter.  At first it didn't bother me.  They had become a part of me and those hard knocks helped shape me into the individual that I am today.

Recently I've been looking at them with regret and I pity the girl that I used to be.  For she felt alone and like no one understood her.  There were many days that she would come home from high school, turn on the radio, and cry.  Wishing to be anywhere and anyone else.  She was always seeking change.  Always praying for a miracle.

Then she grew up and saw the potential she had to create a positive change for herself.  However, others would always try and stomp this optimistic/naive girl down.  When push comes to shove though she always stood her ground.

So I decided I needed to show this to the world.  I'm no longer a scared little girl but a confident woman.  The lotus flower grows in the mud, in darkness, and blooms to beautiful flowers above the water's surface;  and that symbolizes me as well.  For I have come from a dark past but now I have something beautiful to show.  I have a red lotus symbolizing an open heart; and a blue lotus symbolizing wisdom.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see and grow from my mistakes.  Thank you for those trials that made me the tough, confident woman I am today :)

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