My boys

So I have had a lot on my mind, obviously...  Haven't decided if I like this thing yet or not. I'm still figuring it out.

I want to talk about my boys.  They're both so wonderful and so I dedicate this blog to them.  My hubby is one of a kind.  He is the kind of man that always thinks of others and although you wouldn't guess it he really is quite shy.  He comes from an amazing family and I love them all to death!  Although they've never been to church they believe in a higher power...  Jim used to say "There's gotta be someone responsible for this mess".  He also used to say that if it can't be proven by science than he wouldn't believe it...  However, the Lord had different plans for him.  We started having the missionaries over and one night they asked him, "Do you feel anything?" to which Jim said, "A warm, fuzzy, glowing feeling."  That got a laugh out of all of us.  The weeks passed by and the missionaries continually came over.  I wasn't sure if they were making any head way until I heard Jim say "When I'm a Sunday school teacher I'm gonna be a fun one."  I can only imagine the look on my face as the love of my life exclaimed that he wanted to be a member of the church.  The missionaries must have felt that he was ready too because the next time they came to visit they asked Jim what he thought about baptism and becoming a member...  I was so happy and excited I called up everyone on my side of the family to tell them the happy news.  We asked my dad to baptize him and of course, he was very much obliged.

Jim rescued me at a time in my life when I didn't know down from up.  I was in the pit of despair living with my brother and his family...  I was going to school and going through a painful divorce with a three year old on top of it all.  There were days where I wanted to crawl inside a shell and never come out.  Then Jim would take my hand and say "Heather, it's okay I am here.  You don't have to be strong."  He still wakes me up in the morning with kisses as he says "You're so beautiful."  He and Kevin is what saved me from the darkness.

My boy has forever been and will continuously be my miracle.  When I was younger I was diagnosed with epilepsy so I began to read about the drugs that I was putting into my body.  Depakote and Dilatin are dangerous to take when you're pregnant.  Birth defects are one of the many side effects of these drugs; and while I was reading more about anti seizure medications I saw that not only were birth defects an issue, but some of the other medications actually affected your chances of becoming pregnant.  I know some might think that a 17 year old or an 18 year old is a little young to be thinking about something like this; and it's not like I had a boyfriend at the time, or was trying; but after spending all day with my niece I would think about how much I would love to be a mom and have a child of my own...

But I can testify that God works in mysterious ways.  He blessed me with a child when I was 20 years old.  Before having my son I couldn't imagine my life with him but now I can't imagine my life without him.  He's the reason I push myself so hard.  I want him to have everything that I had growing up and more.  I want him to know that he is loved and I hope he will or is proud of his mommy.

He is such a smart little guy as well.  I bought him pre-k books when he was three and every day we would do a couple of pages or so.  He could recognize letters and spell before he was four!  What an amazing boy I have!  When he was three years old he told his very first joke!  I was teaching him how to say his last name, breaking it down for him "Ma-too-zick" and he looked at me with a big goofy grin as he said "Ma-three-zick"!  I couldn't keep from laughing which in turn made Kevin laugh and it was an endless cycle.

Not only is he smart and funny but he is also very caring.  He has seen me cry more than I would like to admit and he has always crawled over to me or walked over and put an arm around me and would say "Don't cry, mommy, it's okay" or he would say "I'm sorry, mommy, that you hurt."  His first day of Pre-K he hugged me and said "Is your heart going to miss me, mommy?  My heart's going to miss you."  And the list goes on and on of his sayings that have pulled on my heart strings that brings a smile to my heart but a tear to my eye.

So ladies don't say that "there aren't any good men out there" because there are.  They are rare but they are out there.  My husband (and my dad)  is proof of that.  Now granted neither of them are perfect but they are pretty darn close.  I love my hubby each and every day.  Every day I hear a song that reminds me of him and how blessed I am to have him in my life.  He is the first person I see when I wake up in the morning and the last person I see before I go to bed.

Kevin is my miracle and he knows it.  I write many poems for him as well and he loves going through my notebooks and reading them before asking, "Mommy, is this one about me?"  And the smile he gets when I say it is is priceless.  Hearing him say his prayers before bed is priceless and then he says "Mom, I love you,"  to which I reply "I love you more."  Then Kevin follows it with, "I love you to Jesus Christ and back, Mommy."  I know that my boys each love me very much because actions speak louder than words and both of my boys spoil me with love and affection.

God, I don't know what I did to deserve such amazing blessings as my boys but I hope I am always worthy of them.  I love them very much just as you knew I would.  I didn't used to believe in soul mates but my hubby has me singing a different tune.  I love you, Jim Dear, now and forever.  Kevinator, I love you to infinity and beyond.  My boys, I would be lost without you <3